The Alphabet, By Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch
by Symptoms of Insanity
Summary: The English alphabet is a confusing and, at times, perilous. Join the three victors of District 12 as they try to come up with an alphabet book that can be looked at for years to come. Mockingjay spoilers. Canon.


**A/N: Alright, first ever fanfic coming up! I really feel like I should be doing a meet and greet sort of thing, but I figure you're here to read, not know my life story :) **

**Edit 18/10/12: Yes, I've changed N. Stupidly I put Nine instead of Nightlock. But we're all fixed now :) **

Katniss had been at Peeta's that day, trying to help him sort out his memories, when Haymitch had showed up, looking about as sober as he always did. Being Haymitch, this meant that he had a bottle in his hand, and was staggering somewhat, though seemed to still be in control of his mental faculties. Both Peeta and Katniss were surprised, as Haymitch hardly ever left the house these days, preferring to sit on the couch, or, more often, lay on the couch, passed out drunk. After Peeta asked the older man what he was doing, Haymitch slurred something about seeing his two favourite victors, which surprised Katniss and Peeta even more. This was about when Haymitch noticed the piece of paper in front of the two.

"Whad're you doin'?"

Peeta had smiled at the man, and explained the drawings he was doing to show Katniss how certain people were saved in his mind. He had explained the fact that they were trying to help him sort his memories out when Haymitch had interrupted.

"Why don' you make a list? Of-of people and-and… stuff?" He asked, his words slurred.

Katniss thought for a bit about her time when she was younger. At school, they'd always had alphabet books somewhere in the classroom until everyone was sure they knew the alphabet. True, those had been rather cheap and ragged from years of being passed down, but they still worked.

"No, not a list," She said, looking at Peeta, "One of those alphabet books that they always have in schools."

Peeta seemed to think it over.

"I think that's a great idea. Haymitch, would you like to join us?"

Much to Katniss's horror, after a few seconds of thought, Haymitch plopped himself down on the couch between the duo, and flipped their piece of paper over. At the top, he wrote 'Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch's Alphabet'. With heads down, they all began to write...

**-oOoOoOo-**

Three hours later, after six ripped sheets of paper, four broken pens and a banana that Haymitch had found somewhere and squished all over the page, the trio had finished their alphabet. It looked a little something like this:

**Katniss,**_Peeta_and Haymitch present**:**

**Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch's alphabet**

**Creative name.**

Can it, sparky.

_Guys, cool it._

Only if she does!

_Katniss…_

**Fine. I'll go first, shall I?**

**A is for-**Alcohol!

**HAYMITCH! **

No, Haymitch starts with H… How about Abernathy?

**NO!**

_What about "A is for Argue, something Haymitch and Katniss seem to do a lot"?_

**Thanks Peeta. We appreciate it.**

Better than anything you came up with.

**That's because you stole the paper before I had a chance to use it!**

_I rest my case. Now let's continue before someone rips the paper. Again._

**I blame Haymitch for that.**

Well I-

_B is for Boggs, who shouldn't have died like he did._

I was writing!

_We're not going to sit around and watch you two play the blame game!_

**Still his fault.**

Hey, listen Missy-

_Haymitch…_

Alright, alright.

C is for Cato-**or Clove! –**I'm writing! C is for Cato or Clove,**-Or Cinna!** Gimme that! C is for Cato or Clove or Cinna, The first two the tributes for District 2 in the 74th Hunger Games, The third an amazing stylist.

**He was the best stylist.**

_Hey, Portia was really good too. She was nice._

**D is for **_Delly! _**Possibly the nicest person you will ever meet.**

_Didn't our server look like Delly?_

**No, she didn't. You just said that to get me out of trouble for knowing an Avox.**

I did wonder after I met Delly in 13. Then how did you know her?

**Long story, no time.**

Hmph.

**E is for Effie, the District 12 escort.**

Why does she get her name in here?

**Because she was important in getting us around on time.**

But she was so annoying, always squealing and looking happy and always covered in pink and-

_F is for Finnick, whose loving wife and son should not have to live without him._

Once more, I was writing!

**That wasn't writing, that was complaining about our beloved escort. Now hush. We were talking about Finnick.**

He was a good kid, never took my booze off me, that one.

**I don't eat sugar cubes anymore.**

G is for Gale, who was supposedly Katniss's cousin.

**I was avoiding that one.**

That's why I said it.

_Where did he end up going again?_

**District 2. Can we move on?**

_H is for Hunger Games, which is the reason we're like this._

That was a horrible word to have for "H." I can think of a better one.

**Except for the fact that we've already got a word, and therefore, don't need yours.**

H is for Haymitch, the most brilliant, awesome, sexy-

**Lying man we know!**

Hey! None of that was a lie!

_I is for… _

**Iodine? **

_I is for Iodine, which is probably the only thing in the arena that can purify water._

You've got that right.

**Good thing I had some in the first games then.**

Still shouldn't have got that backpack.

**It kept me alive!**

Yeah, yeah, 'course it did.

**It-**

_J is for Johanna, who lost everything because of the games._

**Don't cut across me Peeta!**

Now you know how I feel.

_Refer to the letter "A" Katniss._

**Hmph.**

K is for- 

**Katniss.**

I was trying to think of something else there sweetheart.

**You were taking too long. And don't call me sweetheart!**

If you'd given me a chance, I would have thought of something!

_K is for Katniss, one of the victors of the 74__th__ Hunger Games._

And a type of edible plant, from which our Katniss stole the name.

**I didn't steal it!**

You were not named before it, therefore, you stole it.

_L is for Lavinia, who served us well._

Who?

_Lavinia. The red-headed Avox girl?_

Wait, the one Katniss apparently knew?

**Yes. That one.**

Oh. Still want to hear the story behind that.

_Another time Haymitch, another time._

**M is for Mitchell, Messalla, Maysilee and Mags who all died too early.**

That was a lot of names.

**Yes, I'm sorry; did your brain take it all in?**

Yes actually, I rather think it did.

**Good, yo-**

_Mitchell was the one I killed wasn't he?_

**It was the Capitol's fault, not yours Peeta.**

_I was the one who threw him into the net._

**The Capitol were the ones in charge of your mind at the time; you weren't responsible for your actions.**

_Right. Can we move on?_

N is for Nightlock, the poisonous berry that started all of this.

**Those berries did a lot, didn't they?**

_And then everyone started naming things after them._

**I bet they didn't even know what Nightlock were before I said it.**

Sweetheart, it's the old Capitol we're talking about. Since when did they know anything?

**Don't call me sweetheart!**

But you know I have a point!

**O is for Octavia, one of my prep team.**

I knew she thought I was right.

_Octavia was the green woman, yeah?_

**That was her. She was the first one to start crying when I had to go back into the arena.**

They started crying?

**It got really annoying really quickly.**

_P is for Prim, Katniss's adorable little sister._

**I still miss her. Coin deserved everything she got and more for that stunt.**

What stunt?

**For sending my little sister out on the front line when she wasn't even 14 and then blowing her up to unhinge me!**

But the Capitol was the one who blew up the kids-

**No, that was 13 trying to end the war quickly by pretending to be the Capitol and killing children so that no one liked them.**

Where did you hear this?

**That's not important.**

Well it is because it-

_Let's continue._

_Q is for Quell, of which there were only three, thank god._

At least you didn't have to participate in two of them.

**We all only had to participate in one each.**

Yeah, but I had to mentor in one and compete in another. Therefore, participate in two.

_I wonder what was in the rest of the envelopes._

**Let's hope that we never have to find out.**

We could get Paylor to give us the box.

**I don't think that's a good idea. There could be anything in those envelopes.**

_I guess I can see your point._

**R is for Rue, who was too little to have to die.**

_You sang to her, real or not real?_

**Real. And then I buried her in flowers.**

_And I painted that in my private session for the Game Makers the second time around. I remember._

You were both idiots during those private sessions.

**I think it was a good idea.**

_S is for Seeder, one of the nicest people you could meet._

I knew her better than you did. She always tried to take away my bottle.

**You sound like a sulky three year old.**

Three year olds don't drink alcohol.

**No, they drink milk. From a bottle.**

_What does this have to do with poor Seeder?_

Go back and read. Seeder always tried to take my bottle.

**Sulky three year old.**

Dumb bird.

_T is for Thresh, who went down fighting._

**He saved my life for Rue.**

_He was a good bloke._

We seem to be going through a row of District 11 people here.

_They need to be recognised._

**U is for Undersee, Madge and her family. **

_Madge was a nice person._

**She gave me my pin.**

Which was actually Maysilee's pin.

**Which was given to Madge who gave it to me.**

It's still Maysilee's.

_How about we say it belonged to all three of them hmm?_

V is for Vera, another of Katniss's prep team. Did I get it right?

**No. Her name is Venia. And she has blue hair.**

_And gold tattoos?_

**Yes.**

_W is for Wiress, who warned us about the arena._

Tick Tock. WE noticed that the arena was a clock.

**You had a complete view of the arena on a screen!**

You were in the actual arena. 

**You had an aerial view of the arena and you could see what was going on!**

Sweetheart, point still stands that we figured it out before you.

**You had-**

_X is for-_

**Peeta Mellark, don't you dare cut me off!**

_I think this is going to have to be an "X as in," because the only x word that I can think of is xylophone._

**Peeta!**

X-ray? And what do you mean, "X as in?"

**Peeta Mellark you listen to me right now!**

_When you use "X as in" it just means that X is in the word, not at the start of it_

How about "X as in axe, Johanna's weapon of choice?"

**PEETA! STOP WRITING AND LISTEN TO ME!**

_Good enough. I don't think we're getting any closer than that._

**Why did I pull you out of the arena?**

Y is for… Yabberyays? The Yockingjay?

**Haymitch, you can't substitute the first letter for Y just so you can get a word.**

I can. Watch me.

**You aren't helping our purpose here.**

Which is?

**To come up with some sort of alphabet to help Peeta remember everything.**

Well I don't see you coming up with something better for Y.

_Y is for Yogurt, food that they had on the trains to and from the Capitol._

Yogurt? Is that it?

_Well, it was expensive back when the games were going, wasn't it? It wasn't like we could just wander down to the shops and buy it like you could in the Capitol._

**I think that's the best we're going to get.**

_Z is for… Any ideas?_

That starts with "A" kid.

_I just… Never mind. Katniss, can you think of anything?_

**Uh, "Z as in citizens, something we all are?"**

_Good enough._

I don't like X, Y and Z.

**Well you try and think up something else!**

How about "Z as in booze, the best thing on the planet?"

**Do you ever stop thinking about alcohol?**

Only when I have to take care of geese.

**I give up on you.**

Good.

Before the two could rip their alphabet in half again, Peeta grabbed the sheet off the table. They looked at him, before continuing their argument verbally, thus creating large amounts of noise. Peeta sighed and walked over to the drawer in which he kept all of the things he was using to restore his memories. He added their alphabet to the pile and, as he withdrew his hand, it brushed over the cold surface of a pearl necklace that sat in the corner of the drawer, shining slightly in the light. He would give it back to her when Haymitch left, he decided.

**A/N: Like it? Dislike it? Fence sitter? Anyway, thanks for reading :)**


End file.
